This morning, I sent my little boy, Raedyn, off for his 20th surgery. Even now, as I sit here trying to process the events of today, my heart is still heavy, and my mind is struggling to grasp what’s happening. I’m not ready to see his face changed once again, to witness the transformation that each surgery brings. Yet, deep down, I know this is what he needs, and I know I made the best decision for his future, no matter how difficult it is for me to come to terms with it. 💜
Raedyn has been through so much in his short life — more than any child should ever have to endure. And yet, each time we find ourselves standing on the precipice of another surgery, another round of uncertainty, I am reminded of the fierce strength this little boy carries. This morning, as we prepared for yet another procedure, Raedyn wasn’t his usual bright self. Instead, he became what we jokingly call a “grumpy Gus.” He swatted everyone away, his tired body protesting, and his eyes filled with the understanding of what was to come. It was as though he knew, even at such a young age, what this day would bring.
He didn’t want anyone near him, pushing us away as we tried to comfort him. Perhaps it was the exhaustion of knowing that today was just another chapter in a long, challenging story. Or perhaps it was the understanding that surgery meant another round of pain, recovery, and uncertainty. But even through his grumpy demeanor, we managed to get a few smiles from him. I like to think that those smiles were for me, a small gesture to reassure my mama heart that he was still with me, still fighting.
It’s moments like this that are the hardest for a parent — when you see your child suffering, yet you know that you must allow it for their future. Raedyn’s surgeries are not simple procedures; each one is a step towards something better, a better life for him, a life where he can live without the struggles he faces every day. I know that the doctors are doing everything they can to help him, and I trust them with all my heart. But as his mother, the worry never stops. The fear that something could go wrong, that the surgery won’t bring the relief we hope for, is always there.
We have prayed for this surgery, just as we have prayed for every one before it. Each time, we ask for the same things: that Raedyn stays strong, that he handles the anesthesia well, that his body doesn’t succumb to any infections, and that he comes back to us with his happy smile — the one that lights up any room he enters. This surgery, like all the others, is vital. It’s a necessary step towards giving Raedyn the life he deserves, the life we all dream for him. A life where he is not defined by surgeries, pain, or uncertainty, but by the joy, love, and adventure that every child should experience.
I know the road ahead is long and uncertain, and I am not fully prepared for what I might face when Raedyn returns to me. His face, his body, will be changed — and that change is not easy for any parent to bear. But I also know that he is strong. Raedyn has been through more than many people ever will in a lifetime, and yet his spirit remains unbroken. It is a testament to his resilience, to the strength he’s carried with him from day one, and to the love that surrounds him every step of the way. We have faith that this surgery will bring him closer to the future we’ve always dreamed of — a future where he can be free from pain, where he can simply live.
As his mother, I can’t help but feel a deep sense of responsibility — the weight of knowing that these decisions fall on me. But I also know that I am not alone in this journey. The team of doctors and caregivers who work tirelessly to help Raedyn are a blessing. They promise to take every precaution to ensure his safety, to consider the risks of infection, and to approach every aspect of the surgery with care. Their words give me comfort, but still, the mother in me holds onto the prayers, hoping against all odds that everything will go as planned.
We’ve been blessed with the support of so many people who care for Raedyn, who pray for him, and who continue to send their positive thoughts our way. I know that each prayer lifts us up, strengthens us, and gives us the courage to face whatever comes next. It’s through this support, this outpouring of love, that we draw our strength. God is good, and I hold onto that truth with everything I have. We are not alone. Raedyn is not alone.
So, as we move through this day, this surgery, and this time of uncertainty, I ask that you continue to keep Raedyn in your prayers. Pray that he stays strong, that he remains resilient, and that he comes back to us safe, healthy, and his happy self. My heart is full of love for him, and I know that we are doing everything in our power to give him the best life possible.
Raedyn Hayz, my precious boy, Mommy loves you more than words can express. You are my strength, my hope, and my light. Keep fighting, my sweet one. We are here, waiting for you, ready to embrace you with open arms when you return. 💜 You’ve already shown us the power of resilience, and I know you will continue to teach us how to love unconditionally, no matter the obstacles. Keep those prayers coming, and let’s trust that God will guide us through this together.
