In 2021, everything appeared idyllic for Stacey and Andy. With two young children, Asher, their lively two-and-a-half-year-old son, and baby Harper, who was still under one, they relished their peaceful life in Toowoomba. Their home was a sanctuary where family moments were treasured, and Asher, in particular, flourished as a big brother. He was determined, inquisitive, and had a special fondness for his toys, especially trucks. Stacey and Andy felt deeply fulfilled, their hearts brimming with joy for their children. Life seemed to be just as it should be.
However, their world began to shift in subtle ways. Asher, typically full of life, started to eat less. He experienced constipation and voiced feelings of fatigue. It wasn’t until he struggled to climb onto the couch—something he had always done with ease—that Stacey began to feel concerned. The warning signs were unmistakable, but it wasn’t until Asher cried out in pain one night, clutching his back, that Stacey realized something was seriously wrong. Despite multiple hospital visits, doctors were unable to identify any issues, and Asher was sent home.
As the days went by, Asher’s condition deteriorated. His skin became pale, and his pain intensified. A blood test was conducted, and within days, the results led Stacey to a pediatrician, who promptly referred them to the hospital for a chest x-ray. This moment marked the start of an unimaginable journey.
The Diagnosis: A Mother’s Worst Nightmare
The next day, Stacey and Asher were taken to Queensland Children’s Hospital in Brisbane. Their family was immediately split, with Harper staying with Stacey’s parents while Andy continued to work in Toowoomba. Upon their arrival at the hospital, Stacey’s heart sank as they were led to the oncology ward—”It’s oncology,” she whispered to Andy. The words were chilling, and from that moment, their lives would never be the same.
After several tests, including a chest x-ray, doctors delivered the devastating news: Asher had Stage 4 neuroblastoma, a rare and aggressive form of cancer. “It’s another world,” Stacey reflects on their time in the oncology ward. “You don’t know it exists until you’re there.” She and Andy were informed that their family would need to stay in Brisbane for at least 18 months while Asher fought for his life.
The Fight Begins
Within days, Asher began chemotherapy, and the family’s world changed dramatically. Stacey and Asher remained in Brisbane while Andy commuted back and forth. Asher, once a playful and active child, now faced grueling treatments. The side effects of chemotherapy were severe, leading to mucositis and vomiting, and Asher’s pain was unimaginable. “Induction therapy was just horrendous,” Stacey recalls, her voice trembling with the memory. Yet through it all, Asher’s resilience never wavered.
After completing five cycles of chemotherapy, Asher underwent surgery to remove a 10 cm tumor that had developed along the nerves of his spine. The surgery was excruciating, but it was merely the beginning of a long struggle. Next came a bone marrow transplant, followed by intense treatments that left Asher susceptible to dangerous side effects. At one point, Asher’s condition deteriorated so severely that doctors feared he wouldn’t survive the weekend. Stacey recalls Andy standing firm, refusing to accept the grim prognosis: “No, I don’t believe this is Asher’s time.”
A Glimmer of Hope
In a miraculous turn, Asher survived and continued to fight. Months of recovery ensued, during which the family was compelled to sell their home in Toowoomba due to financial pressures. “It was really sad,” Stacey reflects on the loss of the home they had worked so hard to create. Andy took unpaid leave from his job, and along with Harper, he moved to Brisbane to be with Stacey and Asher. The family was finally reunited, but the journey was far from over.
Asher’s battle persisted with 12 rounds of radiation therapy, five rounds of immunotherapy, and additional chemotherapy. However, despite these relentless efforts, the cancer did not respond. “He spent most of his time in the hospital over nearly two years,” Stacey shares, the pain of the experience still evident in her voice. With no further options for a cure, the focus shifted to enhancing Asher’s quality of life.
The Final Days
In his final days, Asher’s pain became unbearable. The palliative care team was called in, and they informed Stacey that her son had only 24 hours left to live. “When palliative care came in and said we think he’s only got 24 hours left to live, I felt a change,” Stacey shares, her voice soft yet steady. “I felt at peace then, knowing that it wasn’t God’s will for Asher to live.” For Stacey, the agony of watching her son suffer was overwhelming, and she prayed for him to be taken home.
Three and a half weeks later, Asher passed away, leaving an irreplaceable void in his family’s hearts. “He only lived for four and a half years, but he taught us so much,” says Stacey, her voice filled with pride. “Especially in those last few weeks, he taught us true courage and determination. Even in the depths of his suffering, he showed such compassion.”
A Mother’s Legacy: Advocating for Change
The grief of losing Asher has never faded for Stacey and Andy. “I thought maybe it might get a bit better, but honestly, the hurt is still just as strong as the day he passed away,” says Stacey, her voice breaking with emotion. The pain still comes in waves, but it has also spurred her into action. Stacey has become a passionate advocate for children’s cancer research, determined to raise awareness about the challenges these children face and the urgent need for more funding.
“I don’t think people realize what these kids endure, how horrific it is,” Stacey states. “It’s hard for people to hear how dreadful it was, but that’s the reality of childhood cancer. We need research.” While her son’s battle is over, her fight to honor his memory and assist other families continues.
Stacey’s journey through heartbreak, hope, and love has transformed her into a strong, resilient advocate for change. She carries Asher’s memory with her every day, a reminder of the incredible courage and compassion he exhibited in his short life. “We feel so close, the three of us, and we just feel so lucky every day,” Stacey reflects on their journey. Although the pain of losing Asher will never dissipate, his legacy endures in the work Stacey is doing to ensure that no child has to endure what her son did.
